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My husband has bi-polar and has been increasingly difficult with his mood swing extremes from happy to jittery upset. So we have dealt with the worst of it the last two years in addition to his other health problems. He has a therapist now who hes been seeing about once a month, and we got into another major blow up recently so I decided to accept the invitation to accompany him to see how I could help him and in turn help myself.

I have started reacting to his angry spells in a very unhealthy and unusual way. Usually im so positive that I rarely get angry back, I drop things quick and move on. But lately, the last year or so increasingly, I have been noticing myself snap back more, and cry more, and get angry faster. I have felt the desire to run, escape, flee, and just get away from life as it is. But I will not abandon my family, and I will not take my kids from their father unless he did become abusive towards them.

So we went to therapy but I was nervous about this whole thing. I expected some sort of pep talk on things not to say or do to a bi-polar person but what happened was..

The therapist told my dh to stop being another child for me. That he needs to stop being a jerk to me and blaming it all on his bi-polar. To never put his hands on me to even shove me down. He said to dh that if this marriage is like an emotional bank and good times make deposits, these blow ups are major withdrawls and eventually if not stopped there will be nothing left but divorce papers and tears.

I was pretty floored but I felt like it hit home with how I have felt. I don’t like it when im constantly in a state of panic about if this or that will upset my adult husband. It’s still that way but we are working on fixes. What the therapist suggested is that he keep a daily journal about how he feels and since he is also diabetic, how his sugar affects his moods if at all. Also he HAS to tell me if hes starting to feel upset so we can try to avoid it becomming a big blow up issue, instead of keeping quiet then just going off.

Plus we now have the hell no rule, if he blows up and threaten to kill himself or puts his hands on me or goes off and wont stop, then he crosses the line and HAS to go to the hospital’s mental health ward.

All in all I think its a start. We go again in a couple of weeks.

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