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Posts Tagged ‘family’

It has been a learning process and it has been difficult at times but I am proud to say it is day 5 of the accelerated 10 min trainer program. I have kept up with the 3 stack a day plan, except the yoga day.

Yesterday and today I¬† did 1 of the workouts in the morning. I think I feel better clarity when I exercise first thing in the morning. It’s too early to show any major changes but I certainly feel the effects.

The true challenge is in the jeans test. Are they still tight.. or do they slip on easy? I am waiting until friday to try on a pair I wore last fall again. They fit just right then but have since gotten tight over the holiday season.

The winter months are harsh on the body. Summer time allows me to get out and walk and take my kids to the park. But since late November I have not gotten out very much and that plus the holiday season took it’s toll. But it was super cute this morning to see my 2 year old daughter trying to work out like mommy does. I was jogging circles with her and she was giggling up a storm.

Anyways I think 10 min trainer is helping a lot so I am happy. I also am trying to watch my portions, although I am not drastically cutting calories, just trying to eat less junk. I got a tip from the John Tesh radio show about using smaller dinner plates to trick your mind into thinking you ate more. I was skeptical but it works!

Also I am not a huge fan of drinking water all the time so my soloution is 2 things.. home-made green tea with splenda sweetener, and the south beach diet protein waters to replace sodas. Well mostly… I crave a Diet Dr Pepper now and then so I indulge. But it is down to once every other day or less.

More comming soon! Actually less.. weight.. more.. me. ūüôā

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I am 27 years old, a mom of three and I want to lose weight. Many of us do, but we do not know how to start. I have a weakness for delishious food but I do not pig out, often. I have to admit I have days I ate more than I should. I must be honest with myself.

¬†My biggest problem though is not my eating habits, its my level of activity. I work from home making virtual clothing, buildings, making web sites, doing affiliate work, and other assorted busy work. Plus I go to college online. In all it’s way to much sitting down!

I am up and about off and on all day chasing my three kids and playing with them, but I still sit, a lot. Right now it’s worse because it is winter and its cold. Plus in this economy money is so tight!

But I have¬†a plan and I have good tools. So if you are like me, or you have been here, I hope to encourage you. Or if you’d like you can encourage me. I am NOT the most diciplined person on the planet.

Hot french fries, chocolate.. who can resist now and then?

My first tool you are looking at, a live journal where anyone can see what I am doing. If I slack off, please send a comment telling me to stop being lazy, lol. I think it will help to have at least a weekly update of my progress. I am a busy mom, so posting EVERY day might be too much, but weekly is good.

The second tool is a cool visual model I found. It shows how I look now and how I want to look. Its located at: http://www.prevention.com/mvm/main.html

So I customised myself, its rather accurate, here I am..

Weight Loss Goals

My third tool is my handy calorie tracker. There are a BUNCH on the internet but I really like the free one at caloriebalancediet.com . You can even add custom foods and snacks you eat often. One thing I do not like is that things like eggs which have good cholestorol make the tracker think you just went nuts with cholestorol. Plus you might want to tweak the setting to your specific needs if you use it, we are not photo copies, we have needs that differ per person!

My fourth tool is Tony Hortons 10 Min Trainer Deluxe. I got it off E-Bay much cheaper than you could get directly from the store so I am good with that. It should arrive by the end of the week depending on the seller.

tonyhorton

Let’s hope the sappy crying infomercial people are not in fact actors of academy award calibur. I got this to slim down without bulking up. I don’t want to win awards for muscules, I just want soft slender¬†but¬†firm curves. And it’s not a skinny blonde telling me to suck in my tummy.

Fifth is my DDR, dance dance revoloution game. Mainly because its so much fun to do. Im not sure it really contributes a lot, but it gets me up and I love to dance and sing.

I also plan to get a YMCA membership so I can swim within a month or two. I love thier steam room it feels soo nice. Plus they have great ab and thigh machines, my two biggest problem areas. 

So thats the plan. Stay tuned!

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My husband has bi-polar and has been increasingly difficult with his mood swing extremes from happy to jittery upset. So we have dealt with the worst of it the last two years in addition to his other health problems. He has a therapist now who hes been seeing about once a month, and we got into another major blow up recently so I decided to accept the invitation to accompany him to see how I could help him and in turn help myself.

I have started reacting to his angry spells in a very unhealthy and unusual way. Usually im so positive that I rarely get angry back, I drop things quick and move on. But lately, the last year or so increasingly, I have been noticing myself snap back more, and cry more, and get angry faster. I have felt the desire to run, escape, flee, and just get away from life as it is. But I will not abandon my family, and I will not take my kids from their father unless he did become abusive towards them.

So we went to therapy but I was nervous about this whole thing. I expected some sort of pep talk on things not to say or do to a bi-polar person but what happened was..

The therapist told my dh to stop being another child for me. That he needs to stop being a jerk to me and blaming it all on his bi-polar. To never put his hands on me to even shove me down. He said to dh that if this marriage is like an emotional bank and good times make deposits, these blow ups are major withdrawls and eventually if not stopped there will be nothing left but divorce papers and tears.

I was pretty floored but I felt like it hit home with how I have felt. I don’t like it when im constantly in a state of panic about if this or that will upset my adult husband. It’s still that way but we are working on fixes. What the therapist suggested is that he keep a daily journal about how he feels and since he is also diabetic, how his sugar affects his moods if at all. Also he HAS to tell me if hes starting to feel upset so we can try to avoid it becomming a big blow up issue, instead of keeping quiet then just going off.

Plus we now have the hell no rule, if¬†he blows up and threaten to kill himself or puts his hands on me or goes off and wont stop, then he crosses the line and HAS to go to the hospital’s mental health ward.

All in all I think its a start. We go again in a couple of weeks.

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I feel so lost sometimes when I look out the window at the world that seems to be going by without me. It is not that I can’t walk outside, I often do, its a more of a mental feeling.

I feel trapped by the things that used to give me joy, because most of those things have changed. My three children are a handful but nothing is really wrong there other than being tired having to chase them. So I suspect its both the almost non existant money problem and the fact my husbands been disabled and not working for so long.

He has changed.. my husband was a happy, laughing, fun guy. We used to talk and smile all the time. He is very sick.. I know he can not help it. I feel terrible for him having to deal with it every day.  I do my best to make him happy.

His attitude about life is different.. he is obsessed with knowing where I am and what I am doing at all times. If I laugh at something he demands to know whats funny. If I am upset about something he barrages me with why until I want to tell him to back off. He wants me to go to him to comfort him for every small thing, and he complains about almost everything people do.

To be fair he does not constantly complain at me, he helps me with the kids and he does try to help out with the chores around the house. The good is there, but it is not close to the joyful man who used to be there.

All this is making me feel like my prayers are to weak to be heard. I do not feel lucky at all. It does not help that I can not just go spend time on myself for things like manicures and hair cuts. Im far to busy, and the money is needed for other things. I am a mother, a wife, and a caregiver, but my ‘self’ seems to be lost right now.

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Tough Times

I know my family is not the only one affected by the current economy troubles. But when you used to have it pretty darn good and you lose it, you feel pretty lonely and frightened. Crying over it only makes it harder to keep working to keep your head above water.

At times I wonder if this is nessesary to remind us that we need to appreciate those good times a little more. I know that from now on.. I will appreciate them.

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It is hard for me to believe that its been almost a year since my last vacation to Florida. Last year my family and friends went to Disney World and Seaworld. We stayed at the Bahama Bay Resort and had an absoloute blast.

This year we are heading to Palm Coast to enjoy the beach. I am also planning to head to St.Augustine to check out the Old Spanish Fort and the reportedly ‘haunted’ Lighthouse. I saw it on Ghost Hunters one night and it was rather facinating the scientific way they captured an odd shadow near the top of the stairs. I will have to go myself and see how it feels and see if I capture anything with my camera.

I hope to go back to Disney soon as well. Perhaps for Christmas we can get there but it depends on finances. Usually it helps to split the costs with friends so that might be an option. ūüôā

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Hurray! Today I turn 27 years old. I think im happy about it although it certainly seems a little too close to 30 for me. My mom stopped at 29 for many years.. I think I understand why now.

With three kids and limited funding I suppose I will just hang out at home and not do any ‘work’ as my treat. That actually sounds pretty nice. Wait it is sunday… I should not lie. I plan to finish a couple small things this morning. Then to listen to a sermon.

I find myself enjoying the live ministry from Lakewood Church on sundays. Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria and all of their ministers there are really positive. I watch it with my family and its alot easier for us right now than it is to get everyone rounded up for a service. Im off to watch it now in fact.

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